I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
