Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
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