Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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