sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I love black thongs
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
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