Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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