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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.

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• (530): View more from California

  my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.

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• (954): View more from Florida

  You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to

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• (805): View more from California

  I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.

  (1-574): View more from Indiana

  How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements

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