I am puke
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.