Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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