Texts From Last Night

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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.

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  (978): The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room. http://tfl.nu/rw2d
  Replies (58) Good night (1948) Bad night (5613)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."

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  (208): I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing." http://tfl.nu/1ant
  Replies (26) Good night (6384) Bad night (732)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.

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  (405): I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step. http://tfl.nu/yq43
  Replies (14) Good night (5053) Bad night (1178)
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  (925): View more from California

  Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed

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  (925): Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed http://tfl.nu/cgjz
  Replies (8) Good night (3852) Bad night (786)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night

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  (978): My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night http://tfl.nu/zzxc
  Replies (10) Good night (4571) Bad night (995)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion

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  (856): Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion http://tfl.nu/nnpe
  Replies (7) Good night (3488) Bad night (748)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.

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  (843): great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/cndy
  Replies (5) Good night (1756) Bad night (778)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.

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  (206): She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers. http://tfl.nu/uzdb
  Replies (3) Good night (2404) Bad night (750)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel

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  (201): I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel http://tfl.nu/tjoe
  Replies (8) Good night (2785) Bad night (922)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.

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  (360): Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible. http://tfl.nu/9lv1
  Replies (12) Good night (2207) Bad night (669)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.

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  (802): I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me. http://tfl.nu/liob
  Replies (4) Good night (1694) Bad night (1285)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.

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  (956): Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars. http://tfl.nu/dx00
  Replies (29) Good night (1585) Bad night (784)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.

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  (860): The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop. http://tfl.nu/d7w3
  Replies (3) Good night (3093) Bad night (520)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries

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  (423): So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries http://tfl.nu/0e3x
  Replies (3) Good night (932) Bad night (316)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...

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  (989): I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase... http://tfl.nu/38c4
  Replies (2) Good night (421) Bad night (354)

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