I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas