i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
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Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
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Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"