windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
high people should be assigned attendants
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
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I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
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I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.