Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?

(1-512): View more from Texas

yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.

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(817): View more from Texas

I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out

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(313): View more from Michigan

sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.

(+44): View more from United Kingdom

before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN

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(667): View more from Maryland

what customs doesn't know wont hurt them

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(519): View more from Ontario

I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.

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(410): View more from Maryland

I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.

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(914): View more from New York

Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.

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