He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
