yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
