I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
