I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
