hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
