On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
