so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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