oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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