Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
