as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
