WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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