Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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