She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
