i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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