he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
