Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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