And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
