i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
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He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
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Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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