I just made out with a guy for $7.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
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