i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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