I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
