WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
