Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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