I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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