I will die if light touches me.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
