Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
