Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
