Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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