thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
