How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
