this is something i pride myself on being below average for
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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