Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
