That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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