Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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