bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
