So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
