I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
My bed is full of blood and feathers
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
