I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
