If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
