shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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