I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Randomize
