Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
