I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
