Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
