Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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