i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize