I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
