I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
