i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
