Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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