I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
