P.S. I can't hear my feet
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
