i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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