What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize